you suck at guitar
especially at bedtime
don't make me smash it

i brought a girl home
she was grossed out by the smell
coming from your room

i’ve been here ten months
the floor has been mopped five times
you’ve never done it

how do you fill up
the bathroom trashcan so fast?
you waste so much shit

why do you insist
on buying more tomatoes
they rot every time

there are no cases
on any of your pillows
face in spit nightly

you got mad and left
when your girlfriend cut her foot
replace my towel

friends come to get me
but choose to wait in the car
you bore them to death

your bedroom looks like
a trash and clothing riot
its really gross dude

stains near the toilet
look suspiciously like poop
you’re doing it wrong

we hung out just once
your friends tried to get me drunk
cops brought you home, right?

i moved out last month
still have lots to blog about
that's how dumb you are

you slam the damn door
like it weighs a thousand pounds
jesus fucking christ

i remember your
seagrams mango wine coolers
your dad must be pissed

i let you borrow
my ratcheting screwdriver
where the hell is it?

i found you passed out
on the bathroom floor one time
at least you weren't nude

"cool man. keep in touch"
that's the last text you sent me
certainly hope not

my friend calls you matt
even though that’s not your name
speak up you sissy

when people ask me
what you do for a living
my mind just goes blank

the dinner table
is not a goddamn hamper
move your shitty clothes